DOES THE UNIVERSE LOVE ME?
It is a wrong question to ask. You should ask the other way round, "Do you love the universe?" because universe is not a person. It cannot love you. It has no center, or you can say "everywhere it has the center," but it is a nonpersonal phenomenon. How can a nonpersonal existence love you? You can love.
But when you love, the universe responds -- responds absolutely. If you take one step towards the universe, the universe takes a thousand and one steps towards you; but that's a response.
You will have to understand what Lao Tzu says: that the nature of existence is feminine. A woman waits; she never initiates. The man has to go and initiate. The man has to come and woo and court and persuade. Existence is feminine -- it waits You have to woo it; you have to court it; you have to take the initiative and then the universe showers on you -- showers in infinite ways, fulfils in infinite ways. Just like a woman: when you have persuaded her she showers tremendously.
No man can be such a lover as a woman can be. A man remains always a part lover; his total being is never in love. A woman is totally in it; it is her whole life, her every breath. But she waits. She will never take the initiative, she will never chase you; and if a woman chases you -- howsoever beautiful the woman -- you will become scared of her. She won't look feminine. She will be so aggressive that her whole beauty will turn into ugliness. A woman is passive. Remember this word "passive," passivity.
Universe is the mother. It is always better to call the God "mother than "father." The father is not so relevant. Universe is the mother: feminine, waiting for you -- waiting for you for ever and ever -- but you will have to knock at the door. You will find it immediately opened if you knock, but if you don't knock you can go on standing at the gate. The existence is not going to open it; it is not aggressive. Even in love it is not aggressive. That's why I say it will respond.
But don't ask the wrong question. Don't ask, "Does the universe love me?" Love the universe and you will find that your love is nothing. The universe gives you such infinite love, returns your love with such infinite response.... But it is a response -- the universe never initiates; it waits. And it is beautiful that it waits; otherwise the whole beauty of love will be lost.
Yoga: The Alpha and the Omega, Vol 5 Osho
But this question arises; it has a relevance with your mind. This is how human mind functions: it always asks, "Does the other love me?" The woman, the wife, asks, "Does the husband love me?" The husband goes on asking, "Does the wife, the woman, love me?" The children go on thinking, "Does the mother, the father, love me?" and the parents go on thinking whether the children love them. You always ask about the other. You are asking a wrong question. You are moving in a wrong direction. You will come across a wall; you will not find a door. You will feel hurt because you will clash against the wall. The very beginning is wrong. You should always ask, "Do I love the wife?" "Do I love the husband?" "Do I love the children?" "Do I love my father and my mother?" But always start from yourself -- do you love.
And this is the mystery: if you love, suddenly you know everybody loves you. If you love the wife, she loves you; if you love the husband, he loves you; if you love the children, they love you. A person who loves from his heart is being responded to from everywhere. Love can never be fruitless. It blooms.
But you should start rightly, on the right track; otherwise everybody is asking, "Does the other love me?" and the other is also asking the same question. Then nobody loves, then love becomes just a fantasy, then love disappears from the earth -- as it has happened. It has disappeared; it exists only in the poetries of poets -- fantasies, imagination, dreams. Reality is absolutely devoid of love now, because you have started with a wrong question.
Drop that question like a disease. Drop it and escape from it, and alwaYs ask, "Do I love?' and that will become the key. With that key you can open any heart, and with that key, by and by, you will become so artful that you can open the very existence with that key; then it becomes prayer. Just ask the question, "Does the universe pray to you?" Then it will look foolish; then it will look just absurd. "Does the universe pray to you?" -- you will not oven ask that; but prayer is nothing but the highest blossoming of love.
You pray to the universe and then you find from everywhere rivulets of love flowing towards you. You become fulfilled. The universe has much to give to you, but for that you have to be open. And the opening is possible only if you love: then you become open, otherwise you remain closed. And even the universe is helpless against your closedness.